Making a cleaning schedule, checking it twice...

I have started and quit many cleaning schedules in my homemaker life. Here's how it usually played out:

Stage 1

Novelty

"Ooh! This cleaning plan will get my house PERFECTLY clean and will solve all my problems!"

Stage 2

Denial

"This is different from all the other cleaning schedules I've tried! This will be perfect! It will be different this time!"

Stage 3

Over-exertion

"I'm going to clean all the things! This is awesome!"

Stage 4

Fatigue

"Nope, can't do it. Too tired. Did too much."

Stage 5

Perfectionism

"I am not doing it until I can do it PERFECTLY!"

Stage 6

Depression

"My life sucks. I'm a mess. This isn't working. My life is complete chaos"


Then go back to Stage 1.

This was how it all went down when I was in my deepest pits of depression and anxiety. I'm back into baby steps, and now that I'm feeling better, I feel like I need to have a better routine down. I've printed off a simple cleaning schedule.

Am I going back to the Novelty Stage in trying to have a clean(er) house? It is a distinct possibility.

But I must be realistic: I have two young kids and it is summer. I can't expect my house to be immaculate all the time. Heck, I wasn't known for tidiness even before I had the excuse of kids. I did have the deceptively comfy cushion of mental illness, but now that I have that more under control, it's less of one.

To be honest, I sometimes wish I still had that cushion, as unhealthy as it was for me. It was a dysfunctional relationship with myself: wanting to run away from it to a safer place, but scared to leave the relationship because it's all I know.

But I know that this is good for me, however uncomfortable it may be at first. I know this is better for me, my husband, and my girls. I also know that I don't have to do all of this alone--I have my family and friends to cheer me on and help as needed. Stephan has always been happy to help out when he's home. I'm getting better at asking him to help, and he's gotten better at just pitching in without me asking. Kate is old enough to help out with chores and I'm in a better place mentally to encourage her.

I just need to push forward. It may be uncomfortable, but with time, consistency, and patience, it will become more comfortable. Ultimately, it will be totally worth it.

In the meantime, I will push past the discomfort of being mentally better.

Tomorrow is the beginning of a new week. I will be strong. I will be brave. There may be whining (from both kids and me), and there will be moments I lose track, but I will keep moving forward.

And I will eat chocolate at the end because I'll have earned it, dang it.