Craziness
This last week has been nuts.
On Sunday, I started miscarrying. There have been many emotions surrounding that--grief, relief, moodiness, etc.
Then on Monday night, our air conditioning died.
Going through a miscarriage and having your air conditioner die in the middle of July is just as awful as it sounds. Did I mention that our condo is on the top floor? Yup.
I talked to our landlord the next morning and she gave me the number for the company that could come fix our AC. When I called the AC people, the earliest they could send a repair man by was Wednesday afternoon. While it was nice knowing that there was help coming, having to go through yet another night of no air conditioning was not fun.
Thankfully, a friend invited Kate and me over to her air conditioned house, so we didn't need to spend all day sweating in our own. Kate and her son (whose name is Jonah) really hit it off too, and it was so nice to have adult interaction. I also bought fans to help us get through that night.
Another tender mercy: we were having meals brought in for a few days this last week, since I've been recovering from the shots and having a miscarriage. It was a good thing because then I didn't have to cook in our sweltering house, and we didn't have to spend money on going out to eat.
The AC repairman came by on Wednesday and restored our AC to its wonderfulness. I had to restrain myself from embracing him passionately when he was finished. Well, not really, but I thanked him profusely.
I went in for more blood work yesterday to make sure my HCG levels were going down like they're supposed to. My OB called me with the results a few hours later, and said that my levels had gone from 455 to 39, which means so far that the injections have been successful. The goal is to get my levels below 5, which at this rate may happen next week.
How am I feeling currently? I'm doing okay--I just want to stop bleeding (it's getting lighter). If you are pregnant or just had a baby, I do not, repeat DO NOT hate you. I'm just a little sad that my turn isn't coming yet. I save my resentment for people who do cruel things to their children--like that guy who left his toddler in the hot car on purpose and that woman who killed six of her babies right after they were born. Why are those people allowed to reproduce again? Right--agency.
I have seen the Lord's hand in all of this and we have received so many tender mercies along the way--friends who have watched Kate, brought us meals, people praying for us, those who lent a listening ear, etc. For all of this, we are grateful.
My turn for having another baby will come someday (when we start trying again is no one's business ;)), and I will be overjoyed when it does. I know Kate will be a great big sister when the time finally comes. Until then, I am giving her extra loves.
On Sunday, I started miscarrying. There have been many emotions surrounding that--grief, relief, moodiness, etc.
Then on Monday night, our air conditioning died.
Going through a miscarriage and having your air conditioner die in the middle of July is just as awful as it sounds. Did I mention that our condo is on the top floor? Yup.
I talked to our landlord the next morning and she gave me the number for the company that could come fix our AC. When I called the AC people, the earliest they could send a repair man by was Wednesday afternoon. While it was nice knowing that there was help coming, having to go through yet another night of no air conditioning was not fun.
Thankfully, a friend invited Kate and me over to her air conditioned house, so we didn't need to spend all day sweating in our own. Kate and her son (whose name is Jonah) really hit it off too, and it was so nice to have adult interaction. I also bought fans to help us get through that night.
Another tender mercy: we were having meals brought in for a few days this last week, since I've been recovering from the shots and having a miscarriage. It was a good thing because then I didn't have to cook in our sweltering house, and we didn't have to spend money on going out to eat.
The AC repairman came by on Wednesday and restored our AC to its wonderfulness. I had to restrain myself from embracing him passionately when he was finished. Well, not really, but I thanked him profusely.
I went in for more blood work yesterday to make sure my HCG levels were going down like they're supposed to. My OB called me with the results a few hours later, and said that my levels had gone from 455 to 39, which means so far that the injections have been successful. The goal is to get my levels below 5, which at this rate may happen next week.
How am I feeling currently? I'm doing okay--I just want to stop bleeding (it's getting lighter). If you are pregnant or just had a baby, I do not, repeat DO NOT hate you. I'm just a little sad that my turn isn't coming yet. I save my resentment for people who do cruel things to their children--like that guy who left his toddler in the hot car on purpose and that woman who killed six of her babies right after they were born. Why are those people allowed to reproduce again? Right--agency.
I have seen the Lord's hand in all of this and we have received so many tender mercies along the way--friends who have watched Kate, brought us meals, people praying for us, those who lent a listening ear, etc. For all of this, we are grateful.
My turn for having another baby will come someday (when we start trying again is no one's business ;)), and I will be overjoyed when it does. I know Kate will be a great big sister when the time finally comes. Until then, I am giving her extra loves.
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| Eight months old and oh so adorable. |
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