I'm still a good mother

Apparently this is from a Newsweek cover


What's the perfect mother? Well, according to the internet, the perfect mother...

  • Has a natural birth because epidurals are EVIL!!!
  • Breastfeeds with no trouble at all. She is not poisoning her baby with formula
  • Her baby sleeps through the night right away.
  • Makes EVERYTHING from scratch, including baby food. Oh, and it's organic because NO CHEMICALS FOR THE BABY!!!
  • Uses cloth diapers exclusively. Disposables EVIL!
  • NO SCREEN TIME! 

This is by no means comprehensive, but this is a taste of what you will find in the mommy blogging world.

News flash: the perfect mother does not exist. But good mothers exist in all shapes and forms :)

  • I was totally going to have a natural birth, and I did everything "right" to have one. I was like Wendy in What to Expect When You're Expecting, did I look like someone who wanted to drug my baby?! Of course, then I had to be induced early. After a few hours on pitocin, this was me:

Except I didn't slap my husband. Maybe it's because I had a doula and she didn't ;) Oh, and doulas are great, even if you get an epidural.

Now, I have nothing against women who give birth naturally. Some of my closest friends have done it. I just hate the zealotry and the whole "you're not a true woman unless you give birth without drugs" sentiment.

Good mothers can give birth without pain meds, but they also can give birth with pain relief, or even have c-sections (oh, the horror!). Some good mothers can't have children of their own, so they adopt. Point is, your birthing method (or lack thereof) does not dictate your mothering. :)


Happy and exhausted! 
  • I think breastfeeding is wonderful, but the lactivists cause too much unnecessary guilt (I was one long ago, but no more). I almost had to supplement with formula when Kate was a newborn because she had a little trouble with weight gain, thanks to some bad breastfeeding advice from a pediatrician. Word of advice: never take breastfeeding advice from a man. Do not mention Jack Newman's name because I think he has a lactation fetish of some kind to be that obsessed with the subject. Good moms feed their babies appropriately, whether it be with breast milk or formula. 

  • Despite my best efforts, Kate did not sleep through the night consistently until she was....wait for it...TWO YEARS OLD. Unfortunately, her genetics set her up for that one. Both Stephan and I gave our parents grief over our sleeping habits into toddlerhood. I'm still apologizing profusely to my parents for what I put them through. And you were wondering why Kate doesn't have any siblings yet, weren't you? Now you know!
Diving into the oatmeal

Oh noes! We took her to a fast food restaurant! She's ruined for life!

  • I think this goes along with my rant about the lactivists. Feed your child appropriately, whether you make all your baby's food from scratch or buy the jars of baby food from the store. Good moms feed their kids. Amen. I think organic is overrated anyway *dodges tomatoes*

An "Albert" diaper guarantees that she'll be a genius, right? Right?!

  • I use cloth diapers. I like them, and by golly, Kate's butt looks so cute in the fluffies. I also have a Costco sized box of Huggies because sometimes, life happens, and sometimes, I'm just too lazy to stuff diapers. When Kate was first born, there was no way we were doing cloth because we had to do coin-op and I was NOT going to hand-wash diapers. I didn't start using cloth until we moved into our current place and got a washer and dryer of our own. What's important is I always try to keep my baby girl's bottom clean and dry :)
That's Mr. Roger's Neighborhood she's watching. There is also evidence of much playing, as you can see by the mess :)

  • Yes, I realize that watching a lot of TV isn't ideal for anyone, but again, sometimes everyone is sick and the only way there will be peace in the house is if we turn on some cartoons. I do make sure Kate only watches age-appropriate shows: Sesame Street, Blue's Clues, Curious George, etc. That redeems my mothering abilities, right?

I'm a good mom because I love my daughter more than life itself, and she inspires me to be the best mother for her possible. Great moms exist, but perfect moms don't.

Wait, I take that back. They do exist.

They just don't have children.

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